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Wendy's Bacon & Bleu

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Wendy's has been testing a blue cheese burger they like to call the Wendy's Bacon and Bleu burger in select markets for a while now, and John Hoy got his hands on one, or three, of them. Here's his opinion in full-fledged ASCII format, after the break!

Reviewer
John
Categories
Food & Drink

Reviewed by John Hoy

Wendy's Bacon & Bleu Burger

Introducing Wendy's new Bacon and Blue burger! After having to try the sandwich a half of a half dozen times just to get it right, the saying "the third time's a charm" really turned out to be true. The first time it came with American cheese on it. I'm not complaining about this free add-on, it just made the sandwich a bit more interesting. The second drive by, someone, not saying who, ran out of the delicious applewood smoked bacon and decided to throw some of that flavorless flimsy pork fat onto my burger. So, I went back today for numero tres and tried a different Wendy's. After paying an outrageous $4.59 for the now properly assembled sandwich, our story begins.

Devouring this wonderful sandwich would make anyone's stomach delighted, unless you're a cow, pig, or veg(itari)an, I guess. This is the first premium sandwich from Wendy's that I've enjoyed in a while. Topped with tomatoes, lettuce, four strips of the amazing crispy applewood smoked bacon, creamy steakhouse spread, some delicious seasoned sauteed onions and last but certainly not least, the blue cheese crumbles that I love so very, very much, the hamburger patty was fresh tasting and very juicy unlike some of Wendy's other meats that seem to sit around all day and dry out. The sandwich as a whole tasted like nothing my palette has ever enjoyed.

I wouldn't call it the healthiest sandwich in the world, coming in with 360 calories, 40g of fat, 130mg of cholesterol, and a whopping 1390mg of sodium, although it does have 37g of protein. Man, is it tasty though. I went around to the other fast food joints to see if I could find any other sandwiches with blue cheese on them, but all I came out with was with a Bacon and Bleu Roastburger from Arby's. And can I say it is less than below average for a blue cheese sandwich? It's just a spread; what is with that?

Wendy's has created a sandwich that is very unique in the fast food world and would most likely make their founder Dave Thomas proud of them finally since his passing in 2002. I honestly believe that no other fast food restaurant has even attempted to create anything worthwhile involving blue cheese, and I give credit to Wendy's for doing so.

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Funny or Die Presents (S01E03)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

When Funny or Die Presents, you watch it without asking too many questions. Unless of course they present last week's episode, in which case you run outta the room like there's no tomorrow. How's this week? Kaitis will inform you right... now.

Reviewer
Kaitis
Categories
TV Shows

Reviewed by Michael Kaitis

Funny or Die Presents (S01E03)

While last week's Funny or Die Presents was more die than funny, this week managed to gain back some of the footing they lost. This week did seem to have the most skits packed into the half hour slot as well, but that also carries the risk of more skits falling flat. What I did think was funny was the first skit with Andrea Savage, who I love from Dog Bites Man, an old Comedy Central show that'll I'll take a leap on and call legendary. Sure it was only like 6 episodes, but the premise and the amazing cast it had made it a fantastic show.

But I digress; in the skit she's 8th months pregnant and, "Only has a couple of weeks to do everything [she's] never done." This means obviously it's the perfect time to go drinking at a bar and pick up guys, in this case the very funny Rob Huebel. There are a few good lines while they're getting to know each other, but it's much funnier once Huebel figures out she's pregnant. Even though she said she was expecting, he "thought [she] meant like a package or a raise." By the time he starts improvising all the reasons he doesn't wanna do it, I was laughing at just about every line. Once he takes off, it doesn't have a very strong finish, but it's still a pretty damn good skit.

Now onto Mike O'Connell, who couldn't have a more typical alternative-rock voice if he tried. He sounds like Pearl Jam/Nickelback/Three Days Grace/Creed/Mouse Rat all in one. The lyrics are equally as uninspired as last week's monkey song, too, but at least the song is not nearly as long. Two segments that were better this week than last were Sleeping with Celebrities and David and Jennie. Brooke Shields was the guest on Sleeping, and even though I'd find it impossible to laugh at that bit she's at least worlds better at acting than Wayne Newton. D&J was still as strange as it was last week, but at least the jokes were more about Star Trek than cat poop.

Then we have another comedy song, this time by two guys who call themselves Day by Day. The vocals are undoubtedly influenced by Trey Parker, but the joke writing just isn't nearly as good. It was funnier than O'Connell's song, but it's not anything I'd go out of my way to show anyone. Which unfortunately was also how I felt about Dave Koechner's first sketch on this show. He must really like playing characters that are down on their luck, 'cause at some points his character is just depressing; I mean he's so pathetic you can't help but laughing at him sometimes but that character he's playing is just so fucking miserable that I almost felt bad for him. It was awesome that he brought in his actual kid though.

That finally brings us to Space Baby, which will always be funnier if it has a guest star. I mean I'll laugh at a bear punching a baby into a rock any day, but they haven't given the commander enough funny lines to make him the only talking person on the skit. While I did manage to find at least one good laugh in almost every skit this episode, O'Connell needs to do something to make me laugh. I'm really trying to like him, but he has yet to make me chuckle. And so far, he's becoming the show's one really big weak link.

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The Crazies

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

The Crazies is coincidentally what I call my three dogs when I walk in the house and they all go nuts. Luckily they have not yet started showing any signs of interest in homicide, unless they're trying to lick me to pieces or something. Hasn't worked yet.

Reviewer
Brad
Categories
Movies

Reviewed by Brad Cook

The Crazies (2010)

The Crazies would not be particularly notable if it weren't for two things: the fact that it's a loose remake of an old Romero film, and the fact that Timothy Olyphant stars in it. Now, Timothy Olyphant was not the best actor on Deadwood by any stretch of the imagination. To be honest, he's probably not even the tenth best actor on that show, and I actually thought he was damn near bad at some points. Be that as it may, there is something about him that makes me like him. Regardless, my hopes weren't inflated by any means, and I suppose that's why I thought it was a decent movie.

The film starts at a baseball game in a small Iowan town. The local sheriff and his deputy, amongst others, are making small talk about the game when in the distance they spot a man who is quite obviously not a player walking down the field. Just to make things fun, he's get a shotgun dangling from his arm, and he's walking all creepy-like. The sheriff goes out to confront ol' Rory, shooing the kids off the field. Needless to say, he has become one of the crazies.

Though The Crazies is surprisingly intelligent, there are some moments that are undoubtedly unrealistic. In my opinion, this isn't an issue because with any movie even tangentially related to zombies (although "crazies" are not zombies), you pretty much have to suspend disbelief. Regardless, the film isn't necessarily one to take too seriously, and this is highlighted by the fact that the remake has considerably fewer political points or implications by minimizing the use of a story element that the original largely dealt with.

To an extent, The Crazies relies on conventional scare tactics like loud noises and quick, sudden movements, but it also excels at creating tense, excruciatingly long and/or horrific moments that will stay with you for a while, particularly a scene involving a pitchfork. Another thing: maybe I've just been playing too much Mass Effect 2 recently, but it seemed like there were a lot of situations where David (Olyphant) had to make a morally ambiguous decision. I could almost picture his Paragon/Renegade meters filling with every choice he made. One thing that really surprised me was how good Timothy Olyphant was in this movie.

One thing the movie does well is make you sympathize with the characters. The Crazies takes few prisoners and has little mercy, so you will see close relationships torn apart -- practically literally -- and you will feel something for these people. It isn't the scariest movie, it doesn't necessarily have a political agenda, and it's not overly realistic, but it does have plenty of guns and gore; nothing too excessive, but if you don't like blood you won't like this. The story doesn't necessarily play out like you might think, but anyone with half a brain could predict much of what's to come. The plot ambles along like one of the crazies, and allows the characters to let their guns do the talking, which keeps it relatively simple and straightforward. It almost feels wrong to say this because of how somber and horrifying some parts of the movie are, but it works because as a thriller, it's fun.

Coversutra

Monday, March 08, 2010

One of the most annoying things about listening to iTunes while doing anything else is having to go back to iTunes to check what song you're listening to or pick a new one. With Coversutra, doing all of that is a breeze without even changing apps.

Reviewer
Chris
Categories
Software

Reviewed by Chris Balan

Coversutra

I use iTunes excessively. So when it comes to accessing my library of music when I'm in the middle of searching the web or working with another program, it can be a task just to pull up iTunes to search for the one song you want to hear. As miniscule as this task may be, why not install a program that makes choosing a song in my library lightning fast without having to divert yourself from whatever is currently on the screen? CoverSutra will help you do just that.

CoverSutra is an attractive, lightweight app that significantly minimizes the need to pull up iTunes and search for your song of choice, for the reasonable price of $19.95. Once installed, an icon will be added in to your menubar, which basically acts as Spotlight for your iTunes. Clicking on the icon will bring down a search bar allowing you to search any song, artist, genre, or album. After doing so, a list of your search results will appear right underneath what you typed in a sleek and streamlined fashion, showing the artist and songs categorized by the album title. To add to the visual aesthetics, a little picture of the album art is also displayed next to each album.

Clicking the icon on your menubar will also allow you to access the preferences for the program where you can customize CoverSutra to your liking, which includes personalizing everything from the way it looks to the way the program assists you. Within the preferences, among the more useful things I have found were the various options to set up shortcuts, allowing you to do different things such as toggling on/off repeat, or even showing and hiding a window that gives you complete control of the current songs playing.

Another favorite is a feature that includes a little album cover shown on your desktop, which you can place anywhere you want. If you enable the correct options, you can also have it so underneath the album cover shows the current song, artist, and album cover, allowing you too see what you are listening to. The people who will find this most useful are the ones who may have an extensive library ranging in the thousands. I have a library upwards of 9,000 songs, so always being able to see what I am listening to is extremely useful, as sometimes I may not know the name of the song I'm listening to.

CoverSutra is very well worth the money if you are a music enthusiast. Being able to access any song from a large library of music within a matter of 3 seconds is a nice little shortcut to having to pull up iTunes and search for a song. Between the customizable options available, Last.FM integration, and useful shortcuts which can be setup to your liking, this is a program that once used, is hard to picture not having on your computer.

Bioshock 2

Friday, March 05, 2010

Bioshock was pretty much a mindblowing creation of epic underwater retro-awesomeness, and I'd play it again right now if I had it, but perhaps I should look into the sequel, which returns the player to the dream-civilization turned hellhole, Rapture.

Reviewer
Mitch
Categories
Games

Reviewed by Mitch Saltzman

Bioshock 2

The best way I like to describe Bioshock 2 is by saying its like going on a vacation to the same place that you’ve been to a year before, but then realizing that you’ve already done everything there is to do there the first time you went. It’s still fun because of the same reasons why the first vacation was fun, but the excitement of being somewhere you’ve never been before has worn off. I’ll hopefully explain this a little better throughout the review.

Bioshock 2’s story picks up 8 years after the events of the first game. Players take control of a prototype Big Daddy known to most as Subject Delta. Ten years ago, Delta was forced to kill himself by Rapture’s resident shrink, Sofia Lamb, who has now taken over control of Rapture now that Andrew Ryan and Frank Fontaine are both dead after the events of the Bioshock. Delta awakens from a Vita Chamber at the start of the game for unknown reasons and is pushed forward through Rapture due to his telepathic link to the little sister he has been bonded to, Sofia Lamb’s daughter, Eleanor. As the game goes on, the history of Delta, Eleanor, and Sofia’s rise to power are all explained through the discovery of audio diaries, just like in the first Bioshock.

Bioshock 2’s biggest claim to fame is in its improvements in the gameplay department. Players can now dual wield guns and plasmids at the same time, the upgrades for your plasmids have much more noticeable benefits, and of course, you get to wield a badass drill that can be upgraded with a charging attack later on that just oozes with satisfaction.

These are all great improvements and make Bioshock 2’s actual combat even more fun to play than the original. Not having to switch between weapon and plasmid every couple of seconds makes the game less cumbersome and makes you more likely to use a nice balance of the two, the upgrades to the plasmids are all really cool and make less powerful plasmids like Cyclone Trap and Telekinesis a lot more fun to use, while the bread and butter plasmids like Winter Blast, Electro Bolt, and Incinerate turn you into a walking weapon of death.

The problem with Bioshock 2 is that outside of the aforementioned improvements to gameplay, every other aspect about the game feels kind of “been there, done that, only it was better the first time.” Bioshock 2’s story lacks the punch of the first game, with characters that aren’t nearly as interesting or as delightfully insane. Sofia Lamb is definitely no Andrew Ryan and Sinclair is no Atlas.

Rapture itself, too, feels a little too familiar and doesn’t have the same level of design that made the world come alive in the first game. This is one of the reasons why I was really pessimistic about a sequel to Bioshock, because we already visited nearly all of the locations that you would expect to see in an underwater city. The original Bioshock had this atmosphere of a city that used to be thriving and then went to all hell, and you got that feeling by seeing shopping malls with actual stores and merchandise with dead bodies strewn across the floor, a gigantic garden that powers Rapture’s oxygen supply, a medical facility, a fishery, etc. In Bioshock 2, the most memorable place you visit is an amusement park.

Bioshock 2 also has a multiplayer mode, which I won’t go too much into since I honestly didn’t play it for more than two hours, but it really doesn’t deserve that much time devoted to it anyway. It’s decent, and it probably will serve as a nice diversion, but it’s nothing that will make you put away the Halo or Modern Warfare 2 discs.

Overall, Bioshock 2 is about as good of a sequel as you could hope for. It had humongous shoes to fill, and for the most part, it managed to be only about one and a half shoe size less than a perfect fit.

Players (S01E01)

Friday, March 05, 2010

If anyone could make a sports bar sitcom bearable, it'd be Matt Walsh and Ian Roberts. Those two guys could make a movie about the extinction of dinosaurs and it'd be funny, AND prove that Sarah Palin is right about dinos and dudes buddying up.

Reviewer
Kaitis
Categories
TV Shows

Reviewed by Michael Kaitis

Players (S01E01) - "Krista's Mom"

When we're not off doing side missions with Adair, here at WRS we're pretty big fans of the Upright Citizens Brigade. Last year you could find 3/4ths of them on season 6 of Reno 911, but since the tragic cancellation my only real Upright Citizen fix has been Amy Poehler on Parks and Rec. Luckily Spike picked up this show Matt Walsh created, and that alone gives me high hopes. Sticking with the UCB philosophy they based the show on loose plot lines, and decided to go with improv heavy scenes.

The Sports Bar location is so typical looking, you can swear you've eaten there, but the show itself feels more like a sitcom than I would've expected from these comedians. The main plot this episode revolves around Krista, a waitress lying to her Mom about being a manager there. The actual manager, Ian Roberts, agrees to go along with it for a day. It then goes into a somewhat corny escalation of her mother deciding to stay a whole week, and then into her needing someone to pretend to be her fiancee. Oh, and she picks Roberts' character to do it, who is uptight, hates the whole situation, and doesn't like her very much either.

While I though a lot of the plot was cheesy, I still very much liked the show. Roberts and Walsh have such good chemistry together, it's hard not to believe that they haven't grown up together, and after you see some awesome, classic snap-shots of the two in the intro you realize that they really have. This brings me to their strong point, which is good joke writing. They really utilized the situations that can come up in restaurants in fairly unique ways. Specifically when someone asks Walsh which of two food items is better, and even though I don't work in a restaurant, it still makes me cringe to hear people ask that question. Walsh's response of, "Cheesecake, because you and I have the same taste buds. You're gonna love it, cause I love it. Loooove Cheesecake." sums of my feelings perfectly.

The B-story with Paul Scheer was well thought out though, and had a kind of twisted but funny end. One thing I remember thinking was that the main waitress who plays Krista wasn't a good enough improviser to be on screen as much as she was (Ed. Note: Krista sucks.), but that will vary by episode hopefully. I did like to see that the other waitress was someone who I thought was funny from Flight of the Conchords season 1 and Year One. Even though the show wasn't quite amazing, it was still a funny pilot. and had quite a few funny lines that stuck with me. With Matt Walsh and Ian Roberts together in one show, you really can't go wrong.

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Lost (S06E06)

Thursday, March 04, 2010

How about that Smoke Monster attack? Did you see that guy flying through Smokey above Kate's head? That was just like the cow in Twister, except this black mess is both evil incarnate and a bald guy with a knife. LOST. Watch it, but first watch this!

Reviewer
Ben
Categories
TV Shows

Reviewed by Ben Cordes

Lost (S06E06) - "Sundown"

This week's Lost episode "Sundown" breaks the mold in more ways than one. Contrary to the heretofore method of paralleling season 1 episodes, the ultimate season's 6th episode "Sundown" follows Sayid's sideways and on-island wheelings and dealings, as opposed to the Korean couple who spend more screentime apart than they do together. Alongside the death of this four-week tradition, "Sundown" also sees a massive injection of action sequences, as is to be expected from any episode following the former Iraqi solider. What caught me off guard was the Japanese master of the Temple, Dogen, initiating the conflict with our would-be infectee. Possibly the biggest shock of all was Sayid's messanger boy status and the Man in Black's (as well as my own) shocked expression upon delivery. To any casual viewer, I can't imagine "Sundown" making hoards of sense, but we're now seeing the culmination of 5 years worth of story telling, so that's to be expected, unlike every other aspect of yet another fabulous Lost installment.

Sidestepping for Sayid didn't seem to do him much good. If the off-island flashes are any indication, it seems he's destined to live unhappily ever after. I appreciated these harder to swallow, bitter story elements, even if it means Sayid's lifelong love Nadia is doomed to infinitely reiterate cell phone/dinner table policy to her vagina of a husband. And speaking of Sayid's brother Omar, it was interesting to see Keamy's partner (also Omar) snatch Sayid and deliver him to Keamy's slaughterhouse, wherein the once bad ass villian turned out to be nothing more than an overconfident egg chef with two dead bodyguards and a bullet in his stomach. These tense action sequences are a stark contrast to the sentimentality explored between Sayid and Nadia, making "Sundown" a series of drastic emotional shifts.

Emotions are running wild back on the island as well, as Kate finally confronts Claire, Dogen and Sayid have a heart to heart, and the Man in Black delivers a hefty message to the Temple inhabitants. Sides are clearly being taken, lines drawn, etc. "Sundown" is a massive neon sign advertising the battle looming in the near future, and it's extremely cool to see some of our longtime favorite characters tipping the scales, favoring the more irredeemable aspects of their personalities. Naveen Andrews has always showed up as a phenomenal performer, whether he's swooning over a European blonde or killing goons with dishwashers, Andrews gets the job done, and does so in a manner that's remarkably entertaining. And then there's Emilie de Ravin, whose name is about as ruffled as the character she's presently portraying. The light, or "goodness" in her seems to barely remain intact, dangling by the thread of her matronly feelings toward her absentee son Aaron. The predominant portion of her character, however, seems to be overtly dark, or at the very least, as Dogen described her, confused.

Confusion is something I'm discovering myself up against more and more often this season, which makes emperical sense for executive producers Lindelof and Cuse. All questions regarding Lost were birthed upon arrival on the island; it's obvious we won't get ABC's promo-promised "answers" until the season finale, but I'm content with the hangman letters we've received thus far. Lost is largely dependent on the revelations of the mysteries it creates, so the show's success depends on adequate pacing. If too much information is obtained too early on in the game, the show will succumb to its own devices, a la Twin Peaks after the massive reveal of who killed Laura Palmer. On the flip side, if viewers are forced to wait for prolonged periods of time just to discover, say, the story behind Jack's tattoos, well... You'd have season 3 of Lost, hence the then unprecedented plan to conclude the series after 6 seasons. I know I'm not alone in thinking Lost is the ultimate example of how quality serialized television is produced - novel format.

And it's a novel idea, to boot. This fresh concept is a huge assist in touting Lost's enourmous cast as they delve deeper toward their ultimate fates. Come this May, all of Lost's characters will have definitive end games clearly painted, a mythological puzzle masterfully (emphasis on "fully") crafted, and some serious remniscing to do. Until then, "Sundown" delivers a message of its own: there's more to come. The Man in Black is as menacing and manipulative as ever, recruiting Losties left, right, and center. Has Sawyer succumbed to the infection? What's Jin's current status? Where the HELL is Desmond?! Past another fantastic installment in the Lost saga, amongst answers to these questions, we now have vivid images of how it's all coming together. The darkly enchanting end to "Sundown" indicates a rise of darkness, and a seemingly indominable threat. Let's hope whoever's coming to the island has a plan!

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Chocolate Cheerios

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

I don't even know if there's a cereal that's more classic than Honey Nut Cheerios. Simple as they are, they have quite a fanciful and delicious taste. It may have taken a while, but Cheerios have finally been chocolatized, which sounds like such a fun process.

Reviewer
Mary
Categories
Food & Drink

Reviewed by Mary Smith

Chocolate Cheerios

Cereal is one of those great, versatile foods that can serve as either a snack or a meal and be pretty satisfying either way. Although I’m all for the convenience and many snacking options that dry cereal brings to the table, there’s really nothing quite like waking up early on a Saturday morning and watching Boy Meets World DVDs with a giant bowl of Cap’n Crunch (plus milk) in my lap. Usually when I find something tasty that I enjoy, I form an exclusive relationship with that brand and flavor. Luckily for me though, I am good friends with the Queen of Dry Cereal, a girl named Danielle DeAlba who keeps me up to date by constantly having little plastic baggies of tasty new flavors and being nice enough to always let me try them. She recently shared with me a simple spin on one of my favorite classics: Chocolate Cheerios. Yum.

Walking through the breakfast isle a few days later to purchase a box of my own brought me back about twelve years to a time when I would refuse to eat anything but dry honey nut cheerios and maraschino cherries. (I clearly had my eating priorities straight as a six year old.) Childhood grocery store flashbacks aside, the giant brown Cheerios box with the word “NEW” written across the top was relatively easy to spot and I was home enjoying a bowl within twenty minutes.

The first thing I noticed about what I was eating was how accurately it represented the picture on the box. This is really no surprise, what with Cheerios being a pretty credible brand and all, but it’s still nice to see honest advertisement. This new flavor is made up of two players, two sides: one is light, one is dark. But really. What makes up Chocolate Cheerios is ultimately a mix between two different types of Cheerios, each with its own level of chocolate flavoring. Both are whole grain guaranteed, and when eaten simultaneously they form just the right amount chocolatey goodness without being overbearingly sweet. The darker of the two flavors looks like what I would have imagined this entire cereal to be, while the lighter one appears to be a grainier, lighter-colored brown, watered down version of the first.

By eating some pieces right out of the box, I was able to isolate the two different levels of chocolate and taste a subtle difference. While eating them with milk there is really no way to differentiate between the two, mostly because it would take entirely too much work to get a spoonful of only light pieces or only dark pieces. Something the milk option offers that the dry option does not is a leftover drink at the end. I’m not really the type to drink what my cereal leaves behind, mostly because I’m not the biggest fan of milk. Over the years, I have sacrificed being tall and strong (two things I most definitely am not) for the personal satisfaction that comes with not having to drink the liquid. My one weakness into the dairy world, however, is the occasional glass (or five) of chocolate milk. Toward the end of my first experience with these cheerios, I noticed that all of the “light” pieces had magically become about five shades lighter than when I had poured them. What once served as the flavoring for my circular shaped whole grains was now a part of the milk, which was so tasty that I actually did drink it.

The box claims that these are made with real cocoa, which I believe because they don’t exactly taste like some icky synthetic processed wannabe chocolate covered grains. In fact, I would describe the taste of Chocolate Cheerios as just the opposite. Being Colombian, I can really appreciate the use of cocoa beans in a product, and this cereal alone makes me pretty proud to be from a country that knows their cocoa. In the span of about a week, I devoured this entire box by myself. I would like to blame this on the fact that it was the only decent breakfast food in my house at the time, but the truth is that I just really like chocolate and I really like cereal, so Chocolate Cheerios and I sort of fell in love over the past six days. They contain just the right amount of new taste while sticking to the familiar cheerio texture and shape that babies, elderly people, and everyone in between have loved for years and years. They also MAY reduce the risk of heart disease and the box is 100% recycled paperboard. A good purchase all around, really.

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Funny or Die Presents (S01E02)

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

When you have a show with episodes written by different comedy teams each week, you're gonna get a healthy amount of variety. Variety means taking the bad as well as the good, though; Kaitis had to learn that the hard way with this week's episode.

Reviewer
Kaitis
Categories
TV Shows

Reviewed by Michael Kaitis

Funny or Die Presents (S01E02)

Slovin sums up my feelings perfectly.

I realize comedy is subjective and all, but I actually fucking hated this weeks Funny or Die presents. Last week was pretty damn entertaining, and even though I was expecting more of the same I actually wish I spent my time doing anything else besides watching this episode. It's strange really, because I really tried to like it, but if this was on the website I would've pressed Die many more times than it would let me.

It started out with "Sleeping with Celebrities" featuring Wayne Newton who was very, very clearly pretending to be asleep and dreaming. Couple this with the absurdly long runtime of it, and you have the perfect opening for the Slovin and Allen show, which was equally disappointing. I didn't actually think I could dislike a comedy bit as much as I did that one, but their second skit proved me wrong. They make an attempt to use insults as punchlines, but they're not even creative. On top of bad punchlines, they really try to go for a laugh with lame nudity and frame it around a weak idea. Then after watching "Identical Twins in the Hall of Mirrors," you realize just how weak their ideas are, and it actually gets worse once you get to the "snake" bit.

Another guy who should get out of comedy is Mike O'Connell, who wrote one of the worst comedy songs I've ever heard. I know that being able to sing well isn't overly important in comedy music, but his voice is just drone-y and unbearable sometimes. This brings me to his lyrics, which are not only uninspired, but just so average. How could anyone over 12 seriously rhyme 'heart' with 'apart' and think that's tolerable? He's also the kind of guy that uses "tits" as a punchline THREE TIMES. Now I like a cheap laugh, but that just could not cut it for me. Although if that's something you think you'd laugh at, then hopefully Cop Out is still in theaters near you.

Honestly, I didn't want to give this show a bad rating but it straight up earned it. Even the closing show of David and Jennie was just irritatingly stupid at some points. The only redeeming aspect of this week was Playground Politics and its hilarious spin on world events, and it's the only reason this episode is not getting a 1. Not that I'll stop watching FoD Presents, but the varying quality is just really disappointing. It's not a good idea to put a weak episode second; you really need to build up a little trust with viewers before you can put out the filler.

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Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! (S05E01)

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Season Cinco is finally here, and with it comes one of the funniest skits that Tim and Eric have ever conceived. I don't wanna ruin it, but I'll say it involves James Quall and David Liebe Hart, and with those leads I don't know how it couldn't be good.

Reviewer
Brad
Categories
TV Shows

Reviewed by Brad Cook

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! (S05E01) - "Comedy"

It's been a long wait, but we've finally gotten a bit of exposure to Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!'s Season Cinco. If you've seen the show before, you know that Cinco is a company that makes such fine products as B'owl, T'ird, My New Pep-Pep, and of course, Greatest Hits of James Quall, with over 200 hours of bonus material. I'm still making my way through that one.

Tim and Eric like to poke fun at institutions of typical television, like extreme sports-esque shows ("Jim and Derek") and anniversary shows ("Anniversary"), and now it would seem they're taking on SNL, or at least they do in the opening credits, which run a bit long, but Tim and Eric do sorta specialize in excessiveness. The rest of the show takes on more of an America's Funniest Videos format, with them bantering between clips. There's also a new intro for this episode, which declares that they've "done the research" and found that we want our comedy "funnier and faster, sharper and more vibrant, with more funny accents and wigs," and finally, "less Richard Dunn." I dunno about that last one, but I suppose I can deal with the rest of that.

As with most Tim and Eric episodes, the skits tend to be hit or miss. Cinco introduces a new product called the Diarrheaphragm, so no, they have not let up with the poop jokes unfortunately. Jack McBrayer demonstrates how it works, which is something you probably don't want to know. The skit was alright, but it did feature some classic Tim and Eric characters like the tiny hats guy and the Doo Da Doo Doo dude. The REAL highlight of the show, though, was an unbelievable clip advertising a new Cop show called "Quall of Duty: San Diego Streets," featuring James Quall and David Liebe Hart as the two most awkward police officers to ever exist. It is even better than it sounds, and might be the funniest skit they've ever done. It doesn't even matter what situation you put them in, Quall and Liebe Hart are so purely strange and awkward that they'll make it the funniest thing you've ever seen, and they don't even know it. If you don't laugh at the face Liebe Hart makes while firing his gun after rolling over the car hood, I don't wanna know you. I was also glad to see a great Brule's Rules section of the show dedicated to discussing genders. Brule discusses how sometimes "some girls wanna be boys." His advice? "Just be happy with your vajana! You got it already." Brule's Rules is another skit that basically can't go wrong; John C. Reilly has proven himself to be amazingly adaptable and naturally hilarious with his Steve Brule character, which awesomely enough, he created and pitched to Tim and Eric himself.

The first episode of Season Cinco had its off-moments, but for the most part it was classic Tim and Eric. Despite being one of the flashier, seemingly more big-budget episodes, it somehow seemed to capture some of the raw humor from the first season. Quall of Duty is easily enough to make this episode worth watching, and Brule's Rules is just the icing on the cake, although it's probably a Cinco cake, so maybe count me out of that one.

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Dragon Age: Origins

Monday, March 01, 2010

At first I thought Dragon Age: Origins looked kinda bland and boring, but then I remembered that BioWare created it and I realized it was probably just my preconceptions about it. David risked life and limb to confirm that this game is amazing.

Reviewer
David
Categories
Games

Reviewed by David Woolridge

David Woolridge

Alright, alright, let's face facts. You know this is a great game, I know this is a great game, we all know it's a great game. BioWare hasn't ever disappointed us with an RPG (Anyone who says Mass Effect, Baldur's Gate, and KotOR weren't good games clearly knows nothing about the topic), and this is absolutely NOT an exception. I'm not even going to try sugarcoating it. Come, sit by the fire, and let's dive right in to Dragon Age: Origins.

First things first, I'm not going to do a full-on plot summary of this game. Why? It'd take entirely too long. You see, there are six different openings to the game (seven if you count the DLC character) and going over each and every one of them would add maybe two paragraphs each to my already way-too-long reviews. Let's leave it at this: after each respective character's origin story (yes, that's where it comes from!), you'll encounter a dude named Duncan, leader of the Grey Wardens, an elite group of soldiers. From there, you'll join up with them and fight together to quell the looming threat of the Darkspawn, demonic foes said to swarm in mass numbers and kill things in movements known as Blights. Of course, that's not all, as the real threat takes you all over the gargantuan land of Thedas, and ends with an epic showdown for the fate of the world. So, in other words, it's your typical RPG storyline, but told in a dark'n'gritty way that should please those looking for a mature edge.

Next up is gameplay, and it's very comprehensive, so I'll start at the beginning. The "origin" of your character is very important, and it affects how every NPC acts toward you and where you start out able to go. For example, a Dwarf Noble will begin the game as part of the royal family in one of the dwarven cities, and people will confer great respect to him. Conversely, a Dwarf Commoner origin story puts him on the streets of the city, where he'll be treated like any regular old Joe Shmoe. Your origin, as its namesake implies, also determines your character's backstory, and provides you with several hours of opening gameplay while your role in the game fleshes itself out. Moving on, unlike most BioWare games, there's no moral tracking, but what decisions you make will affect the story as you progress. Don't get me wrong, you still end up being a hero (You'll go out there and save this world, and you'll LIKE IT), but everything you decide on, good or evil, will change the game's world reflectively, even as far as having NPCs abandon you or, if you REALLY rub 'em the wrong way, taking up arms in an attempt to kill you! Yikes, so I beheaded some dude trying to get in our way, no big de-- *splortch*

The battles are pretty straightforward: you run up (or sit back, if you're a Mage or Archer), you hit a command, you swing your sword/axe/fire your bow/magic missile/whatever. You have three classes to choose from: Warrior, Mage, and Rouge, and each of those change into a specialty class later on. Leveling up gives you points to spend on learning new passive and active skills, such as learning how to pick locks better or learning how to twirl your sword(s) and stab your foe(s) in the eye(s). Spells interact with everything else, even each other; a fireball can ignite an oil slick, then be put out by a blizzard. These interactions end up being key to avoiding heavy fire and knowing what spells and environments to use them in can give you a distinct advantage.

I don't have any real miscellaneous notes about this game, only that it's really, really, REALLY long; as in, grab a strat guide and a sandwich, and clear out your next half a year's worth of weekends. In order to do everything, you have to play as all the characters, giving this game some sick replay value. The musical score is a bit bland to me, but still absolutely amazing as far as fitting the game. The animation seems stiff and kind of pre-set when watching, but it's something that's easily overlooked due to the fact that the graphics are gorgeous and the game is HUGE. I very seriously doubt there's anyone who has traversed the entirety of Thedas yet. Battles often get huge and chaotic, and your character often (very often) gets completely splattered in blood. So does your dog (I -did- mention you get a dog, right? No? Oh well). And all the NPCs. To be honest, this kind of RPG is really not my strong point, so I tend to not like it as much as I probably should, but I acknowledge and accept that it is a beautiful game, with lots of gameplay, interesting characters, and a solid real-time battling system that definitely makes it worthy of the highest praise, my personal preferences aside (I'm sorry, Japan, I'm going back to Tales of Vesperia and Persona 4 soon, please don't hurt meeeeee).

The Misadventures of P.B. Winterbottom

Friday, February 26, 2010

If you've got any pies on you, you better keep an eye on 'em. P.B. Winterbottom is so desperate for them that even time is not a boundary for this short little Mario-as-evil-henchman-who-will-tie-you-to-railroad-tracks type fella. Just look at that 'stache...

Reviewer
Matt
Categories
Games

Reviewed by Matt Clement

The Misadventures of P.B. Winterbottom

You might already know him. Some call him the biggest pie thief the land has ever seen. A thief of not only of the present but also the past. Sometimes he goes by the name P.B. Winterbottom, sometimes Winterbritches, and once in a while, Winterbum. Regardless, his mission remains the same - to claim all the pie across the land. This mischievous little fellow certainly has eyes bigger than his stomach and many misadventures to keep you busy for hours on end.

When first news of this new XBLA game was released, the lively ragtime music and 1920's-esque art style were the first of things to catch my attention. Taking inspiration from silent films and old time cinema this wonderful journey throughout space-time is definitely not one to be missed. The story follows P.B. Winterbottom, a man so obsessed with pie that he will do whatever it takes to steal all the morsels he can get his grubby little hands on. The game is a platformer in the vein of Braid, but instead of finding keys to open doors, the goal is to get all the pies scattered around each level. Sometimes you'll have to get them in a certain order, sometimes only your clones can get pies, and always you'll have to put on your thinking cap. Even after you complete the main adventure, there is still much time to be spent tackling the challenge levels, trying to go for the lowest time or using the fewest amount of clones.

Although this game is being compared to other xbla titles like Braid, it still manages to stand out and offer up a completely different experience. It is so challenging that at some points I had to collaborate with fellow WRS staff members to complete a puzzle and move on to the next stage. Some might be off put by the difficulty of some of the puzzles but I feel that it is what makes up for the game being so short. Towards the end of the game the puzzles get even harder, requiring you to think in ways you never would have before. Don't take that the wrong way; unless you're a super genius and have a heavily developed sense of spatial reasoning, some of these puzzles will definitely take time. Throughout the adventures, or misadventures I should say, P.B. Winterbottom retains a kooky and whimsical feel unlike the heavy intellectual nature of Braid. That's not to say that this game is any easier, but just different in approach. There is more than one way to solve each puzzle and while the story remains quite linear, it moves along at a great pace and gets increasingly more difficult as the end of the game draws near.

Basically what it comes down to is, this game is amazing. What's not to love about the unique and quirky art style or the lighthearted soundtrack that accompanies your adventures through space-time? The puzzles are hard, even seemingly impossible at times but with enough patience and brain power, they are in fact very rewarding upon completion. This yet again just goes to show that a big budget and blockbuster scale aren't required to make a good game. P.B. Winterbottom remains one of the best games out there on the marketplace. Thanks to developers The Odd Gentlemen, that smile I usually get on my face when I see pie may not just be because I enjoy baked goods as much as P.B., but because I have thought of Winterbottom and the whimsical world that fills a little piece of my pie, umm, I mean heart.

Cheetos Mighty Zingers

Thursday, February 25, 2010

The real find of the day was these Ragin' Cajun and Tangy Ranch Cheetos Mighty Zingers. With these, Cheetos is almost stepping out of their comfort zone to try something new, and I applaud that. But how do they taste? Answers inside.

Reviewer
Brad
Categories
Food & Drink

Reviewed by Brad Cook

Cheetos Mighty Zingers - Ragin' Cajun and Tangy Ranch

Ah, the chip aisle. A land of many treasures to be sure. I took a stroll through it the other day, and the newest booty is Cheetos Mighty Zingers, the specific flavors being Ragin' Cajun and Tangy Ranch. Cajun is a relatively unused flavor for chips, and definitely not a flavor of Cheeto I was expecting to come across, but ranch is kind of an obvious choice. What is not relatively unused is the adjective "Ragin'" to describe cajun flavor. Can't somebody think of a new one already? How 'bout Brazen Cajun, or Dazin' Cajun? Or are all Cajuns just violent and prone to attacking?

The actual cheetos are shorter than normal crunchy cheetos. It's kind of like they just took all the cheetos that were rejected for being too small or strangely shaped, slapped some flavor on, and packaged 'em. For the most part, these are too small to (want to) eat with your hands, unless you pour a few into your palm. That way you end up eating a random assortment of both tastes, getting the full effect of the flavors, but not being able to enjoy the subtleties of each one.

The thing is there isn't much subtlety to them. They're called zingers for a reason - they pack in a lot of flavor, and the flavors are exactly what you'd expect them to taste like. The cajun flavor tastes mostly like flamin' hot cheetos but a little sweeter and less spicy, almost like a hot Old Bay flavor. The ranch flavored guys rely more on the natural flavor of the corn meal poof. For these, it tastes like they lightly sprayed them with water and then sprinkled on Hidden Valley ranch packet powder.

When you eat them together they're at their best. The flavor is full and festive and the 9.5 oz bag I got was really full. The cajun flavored zingers are surprisingly spicy, but they don't reach the levels that Flamin' Hot Cheetos do, and the ranch ones are zesty and complement the spicy cajun zingers wonderfully. It's great, because now I don't have to eat the spiders of the sea to get a good cajun flavor!

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Wild White Cheddar Cheetos

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Whilst perusing the aisle of chips and wonder in a local grocery store yesterday, I found a few interesting items, both of which belonged to the Cheeto brand. It's about time they rolled out a new variation, and this time they're not just in a different shape!

Reviewer
Kaitis
Categories
Food & Drink

Reviewed by Michael Kaitis

Wild White Cheddar Cheetos

I don't know whether it's because for the first time i'm really thinking about it, or because I'm sitting down writing it out, but I kinda just realized that they often name food with alliteration in mind. Point in case being these new Cheetos brand snackables entitled Wild White Cheddar, which are by far some of the most tame and well behaved flavors Chester has ever put into a bag. In fact I think I could even introduce them to my grandmother for a spot of tea and bridge game on sundays. But even if they wanted to focus on alliteration just for marketing's sake, they missed a lot there too. My first idea was instantly Winter White Cheddar, which not only would fit with the large amount of snow the country is getting, but is timely for the Olympics. I think it rolls off the tongue easier too, and Chester could be riding a snowboard while playing a double necked guitar or something else like that, the dude's extreme.

While they are a bit poorly mis-adjective'd, they are still quite a delicious snack. While eating much more of the bag than I should've, I said that they tasted exactly like regular Cheetos, but that's not exactly true. As I said before, they're quite a mild flavored cheddar which mostly remind me of white cheddar popcorn, specifically Smartfood brand. They did also seem to not have as much flavor powder as the regular kind, but that may not be entirely correct. It is nice that the flavoring leaves absolutely no traces of dye on your hands, although it still will leave some white powder on your fingertips that will make you look like you were shoveling cocaine into your pockets. They're also white Macbook friendly, something I've definitely cursed the orange ones for not being in the past. They're mostly amazing but they are limited time only, which really makes me hate Chester right about now.

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Lost (S06E05)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

"Lighthouse" offers Hurley and Jack certain bits of the information Sawyer became privy to last week, namely the numbers' correspondence to individuals. The questions now are, what's the deal with 51 (Austen) and why is 117 (Linus) crossed out?

Reviewer
Ben
Categories
TV Shows

Reviewed by Ben Cordes

Lost (S06E05) - "Lighthouse"

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Would you pursue your dead father through a mysterious jungle? How about taking a journey through time to 1977; would you partake in that endeavor? Would you follow a seemingly mad physicist's plan to demolish the only chunk of Earth beneath your feet, and then when he's shot dead, take up his mantle? Of course you would, so long as the end game is nature's frozen delicacy. Jack's motivation, however, isn't quite as clear. Three plus years of mystical happenings hasn't done much to convince our hero of his yet unknown purpose. Perhaps the good doctor does need some time to gaze upon the endless blue. And you what? A Klondike bar sure wouldn't hurt at this juncture.

"Lighthouse" faces two Jack attacks - one off-island father fighting to become the antithesis of undead daddy Christian Shephard, and one broken on-island leader struggling in his search for some semblence of purpose, rhyme, or reason for his presence on mystery island. While the latter concern attempts to handle faith's domineering question of "why", sideways flashes deal with a smaller set of hurdles. It's no surprise that Jack "23" Shephard is still separated from Sarah, whose character was easily written out of "Lighthouse" likely due to actress Julie Bowen (and her Modern Family) earning for ABC on the comedy spectrum. What's shocking is that the pair conceived a child who has one of those Haley Joel Osmond faces, making it nearly impossible to discern his age. What we know for certain is number 23 doesn't want the discordant relationship with David that Jack had with his father Christian. The conflict of being a hands-on dad is easily settled by a timely visit to a piano audition (emotionally charged by virtuoso composer Michael Giacchino), some heart felt remniscing, and of course, pizza.

Back on the island, it's up to more than a New York pie to set the record straight. Hurley's encounters with Jacob push Jack towards the lighthouse. This effort is prefaced by a message from Jacob to Jack: "You have what it takes." Blasting back to the past that is the season 1 parallel episode "White Rabbit", alcohol speaks through Christian, who delivers a much less encouraging line to young Jack. For probably the greater part of his life, number 23 saught his father's approval. Even after Christian's apparent demise, Jack followed his footsteps through the jungle, ultimately leading him to where Jacob's endearing words put him in middle of "Lighthouse" - an empty coffin (in the Adam and Eve caves). It's a good thing Hurley tags along, too. As the audience's vocal chords, Hugo "8" Reyes verbalizes what folks at home have posited for half a decade; maybe those skeletons are the Oceanic 815 crash survivors. Unfortunately, this mystery is unimportant to Jack, whose primary focus is smashing things that defy logic. (And he has the gall to damn Locke for blowing things up; at least John's actions were calculated!)

Arrival at the "Lighthouse" coincides an apparent thwarting of Jacob's plan to turn this contraption to 108 degrees, thereby aiding in someone's quest to locate the island. I believe that someone to be either Charles Widmore or Desmond Hume, but Penelope widmore is an interesting third option, and it wouldn't be the first time she's been on the hunt. Regardless of who's on their way over, Jack is interested in one thing, and that's the reason behind Jacob's peeping. When nobody arrives to answer this massive mystery, it's Christian's coffin all over again, only this time Reyes and Shephard will share 7 years of bad luck. As if they hadn't dealt with enough conundrums to satisfy their present and sideways flashed selves.

As disinterested as I am in the sentimentality driven by intimate character interactions in this season's sideways flashes, I always end up emotionally touched by some aspect of their articulation. In this case, Jack's on-island assurance to Hurley that he'd be a terrible father is denounced by his off-island actions as daddy do right. The relationship between Jack and David is understandably defined by miscommunication, and a brief few interactions believably paint a reconciliation between the two. I don't know how they pull it off, but executive producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse continue to introduce dense new content and carry on seamlessly tying these elements into an already mastodonic mythology. I only hope their proverbial volcano of information doesn't erupt prior to the series finale.

One item on the island agenda piqued my interest more than most, and that's Claire, now affectionately reffered to by fans as Clousseau, Clairesseau, or that crazy woman who sets jungle death traps and chops at Others' trunks. (Poor Justin.) Perhaps even more interesting are her friends, one of which is an adorable furry mound of squirrel bones. The other, as expected, is the Man in Black. I don't know about you, but I'm losing patience with characters accepting non-answers to their questioning the Man in Black's identity, or at least his name. James' "What are you?" was met with semantics, and now Jin's "Who is your friend?" is countered with "my friend". Really, Claire? Your friend is your friend? How enlightening, thank you. Even when would-be Locke shows up on her doorstep, Claire introduces him as "not John" but "my friend". How delightfully formal!

Lost has greatly evolved since "Pilot". Dead characters conversing with living beings, smoke clouds embodied by once-paraplegic hairless hunters, and now mirrors that inexplicably shed light on individuals' daily off-island lives. These other-worldy notions, among countless additional occurances, are commonplace and widely accepted by viewers. The writers' due diligence and astute attention to detail heavily aided in this acceptance, as layers of an already fully crafted universe are slowly peeled back to reveal shocking new truths. Lindelof and Cuse are on the brink of opening the island's factual floodgates, but before doing so, onlookers must be convinced of Jack's destiny. And for that to happen, Jack needs to discover his own conviction, or at least motivation. "Lighthouse" is a remarkably big jump toward Jack's discovery of destiny, and sadly (but very, very excitingly) the 5th of Lost's final 18 hours. I look forward to seeing how much light is shed next week with the inevitable "Sundown".

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Circa Survive - Get Out (Single)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I remember reading all about Circa Survive and thinking how their story was so unique, so they had to be a great band. I turned on Juturna, and just could not get into it. Mason, however, is a Circa fan, and had some words for their new single.

Reviewer
Mason
Categories
Music

Reviewed by Mason Stillwell

Circa Survive - Get Out (Single)

April 20th is getting even better this year, if you're a Circa Survive fan. Normally, I might just sit around but this year I'm still going to sit down and I'm going to listen to the band's newest, "Blue Sky Noise", which isn't the best album title but what the fuck do I know about album titles anyway. The band released a single online recently, and I must say that my anticipation and excitement have shriveled up in a corner for fear of disappointment.

"Get Out" is our track to examine. What is refreshing and at the same time slightly terrifying is how extremely different this is compared to anything the band has ever done. It certainly rests more on the side of what we heard from On Letting Go and I find that extremely disappointing; as much as I loved the sound and progression forward, it was no Juturna, which could stand alone as one of the best experimental, progressive indie rock albums in the past five years. How I yearn for the sporadic, spinning sounds of "We're All Thieves" and "Stop the Fuckin' Car". The exquisite sound of Anthony's vocals is still just as present here as in other albums, but surprisingly much more heavy. In fact everything about "Get Out" is heavier; edgier guitars, harder drumming, the song even features a guitar solo/jam that resembles the stylish awesomeness of Jim James. The more I hear "Get Out" the more it begins to grow on me, but it cannot be argued that the song is to some extent a little too structured for Circa. This is, largely, what separates us from the old days of Juturna. As I said before, I am as excited as I am fearful.

Funny or Die Presents (S01E01)

Monday, February 22, 2010

Some people can just make yelling hilarious naturally, no matter what they're saying, such as Chris Farley and Bob Odenkirk. Rob Riggle is the newest candidate for that list, and he proved himself pretty well in the "Designated Driver" skitch in this premiere.

Reviewer
Kaitis
Categories
TV Shows

Reviewed by Michael Kaitis

Funny or Die Presents (S01E01)

I sure do love when things live up to my expectations. I mean I knew Funny or Die Presents would make me laugh; it seemed impossible that it wouldn't. It was just really nice that it made me laugh as often as I hoped it would. The format is akin to most sketch comedy programs with multiple, unrelated segments within the program. After the amazing retro-styled titles and credits we're brought to a funny old man host accompanied by a secretary and some weird machines that give it a rather quirky but charming feel. The host is there primarily to break segments up, but often I feel like we see him for pointless reasons that just make it feel like you're on the FoD site waiting for your next video to load. Except I can't create a new tab and go back to Reddit while I'm waiting.

The first episode is broken down into four segments, starting with Derek Waters: LOL, which is basically like three short skits within itself. This block starts off with the hilarious sight of Steve Little aka Stevie Janowski from Eastbound and Down in a fat suit, used with subtlety so it's actually funny, refraining from that stupid over the top Martin Lawerence/Mike Myers/Eddie Murphy style that makes me want to throw myself in front of a McDonald's truck. I thought most of these segments fell kinda flat, and didn't make me laugh a whole bunch. I guess his style of so-stupid-it's-funny wasn't for me, which is disappointing because that's not always the case.

They do, however, pull off stupid-funny quite well with the ending skit, Space Baby. The beginning where you learn about the history and everything is not that entertaining, but once the mission starts, the sketch is pure gold, especially once Fred Willard gets to improv a few lines. Another smart move was bringing over the famous Drunk History from the website. This one brilliantly cast Will Ferrell as Abraham Lincoln and also Don Cheadle and Zooey Deschanel taking a break from doing mostly serious roles, and having some fun in this bit. Now we can only hope they'll do the smart thing and give us a full length Between Two Ferns.

Also, I don't want to get political with this or anything but the sketch "Playground Politics" sort of requires me to have to. They have children re-enact global problems, with one kid representing each country. Hilariously enough they chose a fat kid for America and even though it's an old joke at this point, the kid they chose to portray America is just the perfect type of portly. The sketch slightly criticizes some policies too, but lays them out in a hilarious way while still bringing light to it. Oh, and I'll repeat what Brad said: the kid who plays Africa couldn't be more perfect.

That brings us to the sketch I enjoyed most, "Designated Driver." Now it may be because I'm a huge Human Giant fan, but the team of Scheer/Riggle with Woliner directing not only make this something I was constantly laughing at, but one that looks really good too. Riggle plays his typical annoying guy character, which is actually worse because his character is wasted. Maybe it's his facial expressions, vocal tone or both but when he's yelling (which he constantly is) I'm laughing. After a cheesy and hilariously out of place feel-good montage, Scheer picks up Riggle and after a stop at a donut shop, all hell breaks loose. And I officially can't wait for the next part.

TL;DR - After a slow start, it picks up, then your cheek muscles start hurting from laughing so much. They need to get rid of the unnecessary parts in between the sketches.

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The Ricky Gervais Show (S01E01)

Friday, February 19, 2010

Ricky Gervais is a bit confusing to me because sometimes I think he's literally a comedic genius, but sometimes he irks the bejesus out of me. Thanks to typing that sentence, I now know that "bejesus" is a real word and is in the dictionary. Thanks Gervais!

Reviewer
Kaitis
Categories
TV Shows

Reviewed by Michael Kaitis

The Ricky Gervais Show (S01E01) - "Episode 1"

Oh man, how could one not love Ricky Gervais? While I may love him from Extras/The Office, people seem to really love his podcast. So much so that it actually holds a world record for most downloaded podcast. I was gonna actually listen to an episode of it before watching this animated premiere, but I thought it would be more fun for you, myself, and you if I hadn't. That being said, I am aware of the existence of Stephen Merchant as well, as you never see Ricky credited without his name being far away. Who I've never heard of though Is Karl Pilkington, and his extremely round head.

While the episode starts, the trio comes into the room they usually record podcasts at. After Ricky explains where he knows both of these guys from, it quickly shifts to the animated style we'll know for the rest of the series. There's nothing extremely amazing or unique about the stye they've chose. But each character has their own very different image that is fairly representative of their looks, whilst exaggerating their features. Stephen is really tall with his trademark glasses, Karl has a perfectly round head and stubbly hair, and Ricky looks like Fred Flintstone if he was short, pale and modern.

The guys go off on some pretty interesting topics of conversation, and I quickly found out how much of a pillock Pilkington really is. After he starts off with the age old belief that "everything we already need has been invented," they move to the actual idea of inventions where Karl shortly brings up his idea for a new way for people to have babies. Besides being one of the only men I've ever heard of complaining about sex, his idea isn't based on science, and involves something to the tune of a baby popping out of your body when you die. I'm not sure I wanna know how he came up with that; it's seriously weird, and dumb.

The animated style is used somewhat just to show them sitting around and talking, but the best part about animation is how limitless it is. When they talk about mostly anything, the characters are transported to a location involving what they're talking about. This goes from segments like Monkey News to just any old random thing they say, which isn't a whole bunch more exciting than the actual conversation, but is better to watch than just animated men talking.

Mostly, the show reminds me of the relationships they have on Top Gear. Ricky and Stephen have more big, opinionated egos like Jeremy and Richard, while James is the slow, weird guy like Karl. The major difference is that this show feels more like an us vs him battle than the free for all that is Top Gear. This does also feel like something that didn't need to be a TV show, and isn't up to the standard HBO quality. Besides the fact that his podcast is actually a world record winning program, the animation constantly tries and tries just to be something not boring to watch. The cast is plenty good, but with the way they did it, you just can't help but feel like you're watching a radio show. This program, to me, feels like something you listen to in your car, not something to gather around the TV at 9 with friends to watch.

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Shutter Island

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Scorcese really loves DiCaprio, doesn't he? I guess it's not a bad thing, because it for the most part keeps DiCaprio, an amazing actor, in good hands, doing good work. Can they keep the spark alive? If Shutter Island is any indication, probably.

Reviewer
Brad
Categories
Movies

Reviewed by Brad Cook

Shutter Island

When I went to see The Departed, I had not seen many Scorcese movies. I didn't really know what to expect, but the trailers looked amazing. When I left the theater, I was blown away, and one of the first things I thought was, "I can't wait to see what he does next." Well, the last thing I expected him to do next was what seemed to be marketed as almost a horror movie. Shutter Island is nothing near a horror movie; it is intensely psychological, and certain elements of it could certainly be called horrifying, but it contains nary a scare tactic.

The movie begins with a seasick U.S. Marshal Edward "Teddy" Daniels and his partner arriving at Shutter Island, which contains Ashecliffe Hospital for the criminally insane. They are there because a patient (not prisoner) has escaped from her room overnight, which is strange because it's locked from the outside and the only window has bars over it, as Sir Ben Kingsley's character Dr. John Cawley explains to the Marshals. The search for Rachel Solando begins, but it certainly doesn't take the Marshals to any outcome they would've expected.

To be straightforward, the plot in this film has largely been done before, to the point that if I even reference other films that remind me of this one, it will probably give away the ending. However, I don't say that in a negative context; rather, I applaud it for using other means of making the story work, and work well. The cinematography in this film was planned to give hints along the way from the very beginning, you'll realize at the end, which is a device that, done well, always earns my respect. You'll notice some strange cuts, often disorienting because they don't adhere to where the last one left off, as well as other quirky little occurrences. Rest assured, this is done for a reason. The movie is also rather gritty; 95% of the environments are dark, rainy, isolated, and/or claustrophobic, which lends itself well to the psychological nature of the film, as does the brilliant soundtrack.

The soundtrack provides the perfect mood for this film from the very beginning. Much of the movie has fraught violin pieces that set an immensely uneasy atmosphere for the movie. The tension it creates is palpable, and the best part about it is that they don't really use scare tactics, like noise scares. So the music builds this tension that never really gets released, which creates an environment where you feel like literally anything can and might happen. As this film takes place in the 1950s, it does feel older, and the soundtrack reflects that. I've heard that Scorcese wanted to give the film a Hitchcock feel, and if that's the case, he certainly succeeded. The effect of the film is based purely on the psychological weight of the scenarios these characters experience being transferred onto you, something that Hitchcock certainly had a knack for doing. The film also had a distinct noir feel to it, perhaps because most of the film involves detectives in packer hats with accents conversing with each other in a 50s parlance. The atmosphere is practically a character in Shutter Island.

Although the plot has been done before and it was slightly predictable, as I said before, I forgave it for how well it was presented, and the pace at which the journey unfolded. The best way I can describe this film is Psychological Drama with a hint of thrill, because there is certainly a lot of drama. The plot is almost as dark as many of the environments, and it's definitely not one to bring the kids to. The cast (Leo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo, Sir Ben Kingsley, Jackie Earle Haley, Max von Sydow, amongst others), whether their character was slightly 2D or as fully fleshed out as DiCaprio's, performed wonderfully. If Shutter Island was released a few decades ago, it could've been a true classic, instead of at best, a high quality psychological drama, and at worst, almost a contrived amalgamation of certain plot devices and movies past. Somehow in this film, the whole does not quite equal the sum of its parts. But somehow, it also had me wanting to watch it again the moment I left the theater.

Lost (S06E04)

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Smokey, numbers, and a mysterious young boy - "The Substitute" doesn't shy away from the downpour of mysteries solved, if we're to believe the Man in Black. And wouldn't you know it, the fourth episode of the season kicks the sideways flashes into gear.

Reviewer
Ben
Categories
TV Shows

Reviewed by Ben Cordes

Lost (S06E04) - "The Substitute"

Wow. I hardly know where to begin after "The Substitute" birthed a monsoon of mythological information, while some of our favorite characters face an acting gauntlet. I suppose the best place to start would be the beginning; in this case, that beginning would be the 4th episode of season 1 - "Walkabout", wherein John Locke is disallowed to experience his fortnight of wilderness bonding. Fast forward to the final season's 4th installment and you'll find subtle, striking similarities amongst obvious differences. In other words, a life without the island doesn't equate to simple living. Unexpected sideways flash meetings continue to occur in similar fashion to initial character exchanges on-island, which gain serious momentum and foreshadow great things to come.

It's true, "The Substitute" tells the most compelling story yet seen in sideways flashes, directing the spotlight towards John Locke, or rather his portrayer Terry O'Quinn. He and Josh Holloway (James "Sawyer" Ford) perform beyond optimal capacity. Damon Lindelof has often been heard subscribing to the Stephen King methodology of storytelling, crafting superior story elements to wrap around diverse and intriguing characters - the true heart of the series. It's good news for show-runners and fans alike that Josh Holloway has grown and evolved since "Pilot, Part 1" as he and O'Quinn dominate their respective "dead man walking" roles. Whereas James's new found directive is to self-serve as hard as he possibly can, the Man in Black (also known as Smokey, posing as Locke of course) appears to be the new and true Benjamin Linus. A master manipulator, trapped but fearless, the Man in Black is recruiting, and if Widmore's season 5 speech holds any ground, he's building an army for the inevitable battle to come.

Terry O'Quinn had a lot on his plate performing for "The Substitute". Not only is he now Smokey's operative vessel, as well as a sideways flashed and wheelchair confined John Locke, he's also a long deceased corpse over which Ben Linus spouts a few lines of seemingly sincere sendoffs. It's a triple play of opportunity that O'Quinn blasted out of the park. On the one hand, we have the Man in Black, this devilish man, twisting together baiting words and staring down the barrel of a gun without a trace of fear or uncertainty regarding his ultimate goals. On the other hand, we have John Locke, who miraculously ended up securing the love of his life, Helen. No more paid calls to phony women; Katey Sagal portrays the real deal, and it's enormously satisfying to see the two sharing a solid relationship.

Back on island, O'Quinn asserts himself as the obvious choice for old Smokey to deliver us annoying Lost fans with an explanation of faith's predominant question - why? Why are these people on this island? For 6 years, the aforementioned fanatics have begged for an answer, and last night the information was put forth in a previously unimaginable way. I, among thousands of others, share in Lindelof's reveling in light of characters finally verbalizing what the masses have wondered for half a decade.

It goes without saying that "The Substitute" is the most revealing episode in the series thus far, and it simultaneously acts as an installation mechanism for yet another profound mystery. That mystery, possibly the most talked about, is the identity (an older Aaron? A time-traveling little Jacob? A completely new character?) and role of the young boy who relayed a severe warning to the Man in Black, who responded in turn with disregard, much to the child's dismay, who turned his back on the island's malevolent force and vanished into the jungle. Apart from Jacob's and the Man in Black's beachside season 5 exchange, this interaction was the most absolutely awesome to behold. And that was merely a detour en route to the cave of names and numbers.

For a dangling moment of shock and awe, I was certain James was dead, but the Man in Black aided in ensuring his safety. It seemed important that he be kept alive, because as a candidate whose been put through the ringer, the Man in Black could easily paint Jacob in a negative light, dissuading number 15 (Ford) from taking up post as island protector. The final minutes of "The Substitute" dealt a massive blow in the form of numbers. You know, the numbers that brought Rousseau to the island; the numbers that were engraved on the Swan hatch, inside of which sat a man whose negation of responsibility caused the crash of Oceanic flight 815; the same numbers that won Hurley a record high lottery jackpot. 4 - Locke, 8 - Reyes, 15 - Ford, 16 - Jarrah, 23 - Shephard, and 42 - Kwon. Although a definitive answer as to their meaning may never be given, Lost's infamous numbers will never be viewed the same way after "The Substitute", yet another gargantuan leap forward in the series, leaving the final 14 show hours to fill the remaining blanks. At this stage in Lost's omnipotent game, you'd be remiss for blinking an eye.

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The Wolfman

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Wolfman may be somewhat laughable in concept, but that's at least as good of a reason to go see a movie as going to scream at a picture of Edward Cullen, every teen necrophiliac's dream man. Mary has the full review past here, lulz included.

Reviewer
Mary
Categories
Movies

Reviewed by Mary Smith

The Wolfman

When my friends invited me to go see The Wolfman with them, my initial reaction was “The-what?” The response I received was “You know, Mary! WOLF-MANNNN,” a phrase accompanied by a really contorted full body impersonation of a human transforming into a wolf (sound effects and everything. My friends are great, I know.) As if that synopsis of the film wasn’t reason enough to tag along on this movie night, I had been promising my dear old friend Brad Cook that I would review something for quite some time now, and what do you know? Here I am, doing just that.

I must admit, I went into this movie thinking it was going to be a huge joke. The only werewolf I’ve ever loved in my day is Remus Lupin, and I did not intend for last night to change that in the least, especially because this particular story about a beast is a remake of the 1941 film with the same title. This all changed as I was introduced to the character of Lawrence Talbot, played by Benicio Del Toro.

The Wolfman begins when Lawrence’s brother Ben is brutally eaten alive and killed by a werewolf. Lawrence, a Shakespearean actor who has been away from his family’s England home for quite some time now, receives a letter from Ben’s wife Gwen (Emily Blunt, aka the reason John Krasinski is no longer on the market) pleading him to come home and investigate her husband’s disappearance. It was at this point in the movie when I started to take it a bit more seriously. You see, I LOVE Shakespeare. I love Shakespeare so much that next semester I will be studying him in college and one of two pictures in my locket is of his magnificent face. The other is of Mathew Fox in his Dharma suit, but that’s an entirely different story. So naturally, when I saw Lawrence up on the big screen performing a scene from Hamlet, I perked up in my seat a little and began to have actual feelings for this character.

Upon his arrival back home, Lawrence survives a werewolf attack and from then on, the entire plot focuses on both his internal and external struggle to comprehend the beast that has become of him. Along the way, Gwen remains by his side in that whole “I’m going to be beautiful and make you fall in love with me even though your dead brother is probably turning in his grave right now” kind of way. Also alongside Lawrence is his father, Sir Talbot (played by Anthony Hopkins), whose character adds a really cool/creepy twist to the storyline. Seeing as this is a remake, the plot of this movie really brings nothing too unique to the audience. I was, however, really surprised with how much the set impressed me. The same part of me that wears the Bard’s picture around my neck is also completely infatuated with the idea of England, and particularly England in 1891. The actual visual representation of this setting wasn’t incredible or mind-blowing, but still very accurate and effective in conveying that time period to the audience. The purpose of entertainment, whether it be on film or on stage, is to take the audience on some sort of adventure. It’s pretty rare for me to be completely engulfed into a different world via movie because I’m a theatre person, but this film captured my own personal sense of adventure a lot more than I had expected it to.

There is no denying the fact that this movie contains about twenty or more scenes that are pretty damn funny to laugh at. Whether or not someone is super into beasts, werewolves, etc., the simple and undeniable fact about The Wolfman is that one gets to see a human act completely wild and scream funny things like “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!” It is for this reason that the occasional giggle is inevitable.

Despite this unintentional comedic effect, the movie as a whole is still pretty great. I would say that Benicio Del Toro is a huge reason for this, as he does a fantastic job portraying Lawrence and his ultimate struggle to differentiate between man and beast and “where one ends and the other begins,” or whatever it is that the dramatic narrator says at the end. Whether it be only for a good werewolf laugh or because you’re actually interested in wild beasts, I would recommend seeing this film. The next full moon is February 28th though, so I would suggest seeing it any day but then. You can never be too careful, you know.