Taco Bell Nacho Crunch Half Pound Burrito

21 comments

Taco Bell Nacho Crunch Half Pound Burrito

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Well, it's that time of the month again, I guess. Not the one where you wish you could barricade your girlfriend in a cushioned room, just for a few days. The one where Taco Bell rolls out some half-baked new product ideas and we get to go eat 'em.

Reviewer
Kaitis
Categories
Food & Drink

Reviewed by Michael Kaitis

Taco Bell Nacho Crunch Half Pounder Burrito

Dear Taco Bell, please get more creative. Drop some acid, hire a team of stoners, make items blindfolded, I don't really care how you do it. If you guys just gave a damn and started using something like bacon, which you've only used once, then perhaps you'd finally actually sell something worthy of calling new, which by now is usually the only thing that warrants a trip to you. "New 1/2 Pound Burritos," the sign said, and that's all I need to see to be sold. Well due to the lack of window signage, I had no idea what they even consisted of until I got to the menu/speaker area.

Turns out it's a fairly disappointing selection, with three "new" burritos which barely qualify as such. I'd even use double quotation marks if that stressed how recycled these are. Turns out that they're all some variant of a Double Beef burrito, but all rocking the fairly decent price tag of 1.99. They have one interestingly enough called the "Combo," which doesn't really seem suiting to call one item, but I guess Burrito+ just didn't cut it. It seemed to be the plainest and most boring, consisting of beef, beans, and 'red sauce', nothing I could see myself ever craving.

The next recycled burrito is one you may recognize from the value menu, just beefed up a bit, if I may be such an asshole to use that cheaply effective pun. It's the Beef and Potato burrito containing exactly that, plus cheese and sour cream, which they've upped to a 1/2 pound. Like I said they're absolutely failures at creating new things. Maybe they should just hire Ryan, his Fully Loaded Cheesy Volcano Chicken Nachos have been the best looking thing to come out of the Taco Bell kitchen since they released their quesadilla all those years ago. I think I was still in middle school back then.

The one I actually purchased, I did so for its unique name, the Nacho Crunch Burrito. For some odd reason I guess I subconsciously assumed that'll taste the best, but since it's Taco Bell, it was a recycle-fest. Also, If anyone was impressed with those amazing rhyming skills, make sure you forward my demo to Dr. Dre. Seriously though, this was an exact copy of the Volcano Double Beef burrito, just replace volcano sauce with plain ol' cheese that isn't yours and unfortunately, that's the item. The beef was practically swimming in the cheese and sour cream mixture and not even the crunchy tortilla strips or the tomato chunks helped even out the texture playing field. An item this average could only be accompanied by a drink like Diet Plain; even water might be a bit too exciting.

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